A blog for Jeff - My baby Daddy (35wks 2days)

When a woman becomes pregnant...she is already a mother. She has to nourish her body with the right food and nutriants so that the little being inside of her can grow and thrive. She may not be a TRUE mother yet, but she is a mother in the most primative definition of the word. She grows to LOVE this being, she learns it's likes and dislikes and it's habits all before it sees the light of day.

When does a man become a father? When the baby is born? He contributes during conception, but then cruises along for 40 weeks not doing anything. This is not true...at least it is not true in Jeff's case.

Jeff is a father because he takes care of ME. If I am not taken care of, I can't properly take care of our child. He has been an emotional ROCK thoughout this entire pregnancy. Up until his deployment he had been to every ultrasound, doctor's appointment and parenting class. Except ONE doctor's appointment right before he left. He felt TERRIBLE.

I think the night being a father became "REAL" to Jeff was our first ultrasound. In the ER. I was about 6 wks pregnant and I had been puking ALL.DAY.LONG. By 9pm the baby was not even letting me keep down sips of WATER and I began feel faint at the toilet. I was so out of it that I just laid in bed and told Jeff I would be fine, I was just tired. He knew better. He got me out of that bed, DRESSED and drove me to the hospital. He was calm on the outside, but I know he was scared to death. They took me back almost immediately because I was pregnant. While waiting for a room I began slipping in and out of conscienceness...I dont remember a whole lot after we arrived at the hospital, but I remember being SO afraid and so tired. I remember Jeff rubbing my hand and holding back my hair everytime I would try to dry heave into the bag they gave me. I remember him saying he was not going to leave my side under any circumstances and he made sure everyone knew it. He told me later that I kept passing out every 15mins or so. They finally got me into a room and began POUR IV fluids and anti-nausea meds into me. I was SEVERELY dehydrated. I would have lost our baby that night if Jeff had not followed his instincts and took me in. After the fluids took hold I started to come to. The ER doc came in and did an ultrasound Jeff held my hand and I remember us both holding our breath peering at the black screen searching for something...any sign of life. The doctor was moving around so fast, Jeff saw a glimpse of something and was like "WHOA, what was that" but the doctor passed right over it ("that" turned out to be the sac for the twin to this baby...he did not make it, he did not even develope)

Then we saw it....out of all of that darkness that little flashing light. It was our baby's heartbeat. So tiny and bright, flickering. "That's our baby." He said. I of course cried, but Jeff just stared at the screen with a half smile, half "this is CRAZY" look on his face. There was indeed a baby there and he was the father.

Our world CHANGED that night. We were reminded that this little life I am carrying around is VERY precious and we BOTH had to be the best people we could be for this little human. Jeff has always been an AMAZING human being in my eyes, but these days it is AMPLIFIED.

Jeff is going to be an amazing father. I know this without a doubt.

He loves this baby so MUCH. Before he left, he would sing to her, talk to her, rub my belly, watch and feel her little movements. I feel like he really bonded with her. She even moved toward his VOICE and would calm down when he sang to her.

Even though he is far away, he goes ABOVE and beyond to make sure I am ok. He will do almost anything to get to talk to me and he always asks about the baby. ALWAYS. He knows every doctor's appointment and ultrasound and expects a FULL summary of what the doctor said when we are able to talk. Despite his absence he is VERY present.

I don't know when or if Jeff will have time to read this, but I want him to know that I love him SO SO much and I could NOT have survived this pregnancy without him.

I love you babe. Happy Father's Day.

Cheers,

Kira

34 weeks let the countdown begin...

So, we made it 34 weeks. PRAISE GOD! I honestly feel crazy at this point. It is the middle of the summer here in Carolina so you can GUESS how I feel. I am still trying to stay active and still keeping my body and mind busy. Although, the swelling in my feet, ankles and legs has prevented me from doing my usual walks. I have gone from walking everyday, to every other day, to twice a week and now I walk once a week, but sometimes not even that. Anyway...I will make some bullets about this point in the pregnancy.

- I am now at the heaviest I have EVER been in my life. I feel EVERY pound of it. Although, this week I seem to be losing weight, which is strange.

- The baby is now in the head down position. I think I felt when she turned...it was a night of the baby being very restless and me being very uncomfortable. I could be wrong, but I swear I felt it. I definately LOOK like she is sitting VERY low and sometimes I feel her head on my bladder. Interesting feeling I can tell you that much.

- Emotionally, I am a roller coaster. Sometimes, the things people say REALLY get to me and what people think of me really gets to me. I know that I should not worry about what people say. Jeff tells me this TIME AND TIME AGAIN, but what I don't think he or anyone else understands is that the way people treat me and what they think about me will be projected to the baby. I am her example as a woman and if she sees people treating me as if I am dumb or with little respect, what kind of example am I for her? I also hate being patonized...it just gets under my skin. I think it is because I can spot it a mile away...I am ALSO hella paranoid about what people are saying about me behind my back. I NEVER cared about this before, because I always felt that who I am in person would IMMEDIATELY squash anything negative someone has said about me, but right now, it is REALLY affecting me and I almost feel like I can feel them whispering....I feel crazy. I really do.

- Jeff is still away, but only 3 more weeks until he is home. I CANNOT WAIT. I feel like he has missed SO MUCH, but in reality he has been here for a GREAT chunk of the pregnancy. My doctor always tells me that he is one of the most involved husbands she has encountered in a long time. Up until he left, he had only missed ONE doctor's appointment!!! I would say he is PRETTY involved. He STILL is. He always asks about the baby and goes ABOVE and beyond to make sure I am comfortable and have everything I need, even though he is so far away. He is an amazing husband and REALLY stepped up his game to be a daddy.

- Jeff got me a new front loading washer and dryer! It is a Samsung. I like it. At first I was put off by it as there was a BIG learning curve, but it washes the clothes like a dream. My only complaints are, it does not wash out fabric softener very well because is uses such little water, I have been using vinegar to soften my clothes...it is more natural and disinfects the clothes anyway. The dryer is LOUD! Well...it is louder then my old dryer. :-D It also takes a LONG time to do a load of laundry because it is high efficiancy so it uses less motion and less water...which equals SLOW.

- I still don't have any crazy cravings, but I do eat LOTS of fruits and veggies...I LOATHE cooking right now just because it is so hot, so I eat lots of wraps, fruit
salads and regular salads.

- The baby moves in SUCH a different way now. I can see her little elbows and knees..sometimes her feet will poke out. It is wild. She also moves around a lot less sporatically...but when she moves it is for LONG periods of time and usually in SO MANY different ways. Its not unusual for me to be laying down for a hour and she is in constant movement for that full hour.

-She loves music. I can put speakers to my belly and she trys her BEST to move as close to them as possible. I know it is frustrating for her though because she is so stinkin' BIG she cant move too much. LOL. Soft music calms her down A LOT. I am going to use it when she is born as it seems very affective NOW.

- At 32 weeks, she was measuring "small" according to the old school tape measure in the doctor's office so the doc scheduled an ultrasound...turns out she just seems like she is small because of how LONG my torso is and how curled up she is. She is actually in the 46 percentile in weight and the 60th percentile in length...well her legs anyway. So she is a long, skinny little chick...with BIG chubby cheeks, her mother's nose,beautiful, pouty lips, he father's feet and ears, and what looks like a little bit of fluffy hair....

- My heartburn is AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!! She had better come out with LOTS of hair. LOL.

- I am excited about meeting our baby girl and so is Jeff...I predict it will be VERY emotional for the both of us.

- I am glad our delivery experience is going to be very private for us. I have spoken with my doctor and it is going to be Me, Jeff, a birth coach, the doctor and two nurses in the room. That is it. You all have NO IDEA how much this calms my nerves.

Cheers,
Kira

29wks and 5 days

So lately I have been having trouble getting to sleep and then waking up really early in the morning and being up for the day. Now that it is officially hot outside I can barely get comfortable. Between the baby moving, my constant trips to the bathroom, my aching back, the HEAT, and my overall fatness, it is IMPOSSIBLE to get an undisturbed, comfortable, nights rest. Throw in some nasal congestion from sleeping directly under the fan and we have ourselves a VERY grumpy prenant woman by 5am, which is when I wake up for the day and i am usually STARVING like a ship wreck survivor on day 28 on the island! It is SO STRANGE.
It is late right now...like 2am and I can't sleep so I am going to leave you with some bullets about life right now.

-I sleep WITHOUT covers at this point. Under the ceiling fan, with a box fan blowing directly on me from across the room. I have also turned our thermostat from our normal 79 degrees in the summer to 77. I am MELTING, but refuse to have a high light bill.
- i wake up STARVING despite having a snack before bed.
- I get frustrated SO easy during the day when i am trying to do things around the house or just out and about. I HATE being out of breath, I HATE having to stop and rest, I HATE having to walk a little slower. UGH! I can't stand it...but everytime i try to do things at my old pace, I end up sweating too much, getting overtired and breathing like a grizzly bear.
- My baby shower is this saturday. Yay. I have already started to receive some REALLY nice gifts from folks that I did not expect AT ALL. My worry that I will not have everything I am going to need when the baby gets here is fading away everyday.
- I miss Jeff SO SO much, but I am blessed that I get to talk to him almost daily. If I did not get to talk to him everyday...I think i would rot or fade away in this house.
-The baby will be here in less then 12 weeks. WOW!
- Still no official name for this kid...oh well. LOL.
- Today she was SUPER restless and was kicking and moving and just seemed in distress...so I turned some music on my computer and put the speaker close to my belly...she calmed right now. It was perfect. I was able to catch a 45 minute nap then.
-I wonder what is going on in the babies environment that makes her so crazy sometimes...

Cheers,
kira

2 days shy of 29 weeks

This pregnancy is FLYING BY!!! Although, some days I feel like I have been pregnant FOREVER. I am having trouble organizing my thoughts so I am going to create some bullets to update you guys.
-Jeff is deployed. Yep. Shocked me too. We were given a weeks notice that he would be leaving for 2 and a half months. He will be home July 2. I am due July 22. I pray this baby will not be impatient.
-I am not coping well. I don't want to go into detail, but it has been REALLY rough. This is NOT normal for me. Usually, I handle Jeff's absence REALLY well, but right now my hormones won't let me. I am getting better and better each day though....
-Still no name for the ChickPea...I guess she will have to come out and tell us what her name is. :-) Even if we did have a name, we would keep it a secret until her birth...just so that folks won't discourage our name choice. We are weird like that.
- I am SOOOOO ready for water aerobics to start.
- I have not done yoga in a month. I have trouble breathing...
- The little Chick Pea is healthy and thriving. Her growth has slowed down a bit, but that is because she grew SO FAST in the beginning....she was bound to level out at some point...
- I am completely healthy. This is a blessing.
- I am SO STRESSED about maybe not having everything we need for the baby.
- I keep telling myself that babies don't need MUCH to survive and thrive...but in the back of my head, I DON'T want things to be a strain in the beginning...
- I still feel very alone.
- I talk to my baby all day. Most people would think I was a lunatic because I just talk to her all day...
- I think she likes it when I sing and she likes it when I take long hot baths.
- Dairy still makes me sick. Unless it is cheese. Weird right?
- Everyday I am more and more excited about meeting this new human being...I love her so much already.

Cheers,
Kira

24 wks or 6 mos Pregnant

So I have made it to the 24 week mark! 24 weeks certainly sounds less intimidating then 6 mos.
I am not working right now. Which SUCKS because I hate being home all the time.
I could never be a stay at home mom. I know...I am going to get a lot of flames for that comment, but I could be a good stay at home mom, if I didn't have to be a good wife too. Being home all day is NOT good for my mental well-being at all and I think I would be pretty worthless as a mom if I am totally mental. But that is a discussion for another day...another post...
Anyway, here are a few bullets about 24 weeks...

• The baby kicks A LOT. At this point I can see her kicks and punches under my skin...it is gross and amusing all at the same time.
• I don't sleep well AT ALL. I can't get comfortable at night....I could get a body pillow/pregnancy pillow, but I would have to sleep in another room. Our bed is just not big enough for Jeff, me AND a huge pillow.
• I am fat. I hate it.
• My appetite is REALLY strange...I think because my belly is so big and stretched I just don't feel like eating, I feel overstuffed.... but then I get to the point where I am so hungry that I am about to faint...that feeling comes REALLY fast and is REALLY scary.
• I am very hormonal and that is making life very UN-Harmonious right now...
• I hate it when people say I am not the first woman to get pregnant and have a baby......as if I didn't know.
• I feel alone and misunderstood....A LOT.
• I am afraid we are not going to have everything we need for the baby and because I have been talking about all the baby stuff for so long, Jeff is tired of ALL THINGS baby and has no motivation or desire to continue trying to aquire baby things...this is my own fault....I am even tired of it all.......but being tired of it is NOT going to get the things we need.
• I hate being unprepared and having to scrabble at the last minute.
• I am tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally........I am ready for this to be over.....
• I know it SEEMS like I am not happy about this baby anymore, but I am....I am OVERJOYED to meet this baby, but I am tired of being pregnant....I hate it....
• I am scared.

Cheers,

Kira

21 weeks. It's a......

GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We went to the "general anatomy" Ultrasound today....also known as the "big one" :-) She was just PERFECT. Healthy and VERY active. So active that the sonographer had a VERY hard time getting pictures of what she needed. HAHAHAHA.
She was kicking and punching, arching her back. Having a FULL ON TANTRUM in there. Lord, I hope this is not a sign of things to come. I was SO SO sure it was a boy.....she is just SO ACTIVE and I am always feeling movement going on in there, I thought, SURELY this is a crazy, kicking little boy. NOPE, it is a crazy kicking little girl. I actually get worried when she is not moving because she moves so much ALL THE TIME.

Anyway, needless to say Jeff and I are just tickled pink (pun intended) and cannot wait to meet our beautiful baby girl. We are still tossing around names, but will probably keep the name a secret until we meet our beautiful baby girl.

I leave you with a picture of Miss. Thang in a 4D shot that we got for FREE!!!!!


Cheers,
Kira

26 years old and 17wks Pregnant

So, my birthday was on the 11th. It was really different this year for me. Usually I am really excited the entire week of my birthday and DEMAND to be treated like a queen, but this year, I could have cared less....Jeff is out of the country on one of his many world tour trips for work and it has just been me and the dogs.

I have been trying to stay busy, doing my normal routine, and then trying to get out more walking and doing yoga...

This last doctor's appointment for the baby I talk to the doc about being a little depressed. It was kind of hard to talk about because I am trying to be strong and just deal with the hormonal roller coaster, the out of no where weight gain, and just not being able to do the normal things I am use to doing without having to stop and take a break or go to the bathroom :-/. I am kind of a high strung person, but being pregnant has REALLY slowed me down. I just don't have as much energy. Jeff was at this appointment before he left and told the doctor that I cried a lot...which I do...I cry if I am happy, sad, if a commercial is really sweet, for NO REASON WHAT SO EVER...I just cry....of course all of this is completely normal and comes with being pregnant, but it is not normal for ME. I don't usually cry so much so it is a little different.

Anyway, enough about that. The babies progress has been GREAT. This time he/she was still enough so we could hear the heartbeat on the doppler :-) and I feel him/her kicking all the time now. It was flutters at first, kind of felt like a cross between a lizard under my skin and gas bubbles, but now I know his/her pronounced little movements. It is so amazing. I cannot wait until they are strong enough for Jeff to feel. I am hoping that by the time he gets back he can feel it, but I don't know. I have pretty much been progressing in a textbook way so I will be 20 weeks when he gets home.....

In March we find out the SEX of the baby!!!! I CANNOT WAIT....stay tuned....

I leave you with a picture of some onesies Jeff picked up overseas....he sent me a picture of them. I kind of sent him on a mission to get as much foreign baby stuff as possible. :-D

Cheers,

Kira