14 weeks

So things have been going pretty well. I have faced some adversity these past few days, but I am plowing through it.
We have decided to do things a little different as far as raising our child. Jeff and I have had a LOT of time to talk about it and we agree on the way we are choosing to raise our child.
I am almost 26 and Jeff is 27, a lot of our peers ALREADY have children.....we are both the youngest child in our family so all of our siblings have children and we have both seen things we LOVE and things we don't love about the practices of our peers and family.
Jeff and I have decided to take a more organic approach to parenting. I know, folks think that because this is our first child we are inexperienced and just want to try all the newest trends in parenting, but the truth is, we are turning the clocks back a little bit. We are cloth diapering, I am breastfeeding for as long as it benefits my baby, we are doing some of the practices of attachment parenting, but mostly taking cues from our baby and our babies needs. When the child starts solid foods we will be doing as organic as we can afford or just good HEALTHY meals. We are going to try to steer clear of harsh chemicals and dyes in the child's food. NO FAST FOOD....maybe as a treat while on vacation, or on a rare occasion, but Jeff and I definately want to build a SOLID eating foundation for our child before we introduce salty, fatty, fast food that comes with a toy.
When I say SOLID foundation I mean, I want to introduce our child to as many fruits and veggies and home cooked meats as we can. I will admit, fast food taste GOOD. It is seasoned in such a way to draw people in. I just don't want my child REFUSING to eat at home because he/she wants junky fast food for every meal. Another reason I want to do this is a slightly selfish reason, but a reason non the less.....I love to cook. Right now I cook about 4 to 5 times a week for Jeff and I. I think my food taste GOOD and I am always trying healthy recipies and alternatives to otherwise UNHEALTHY comfort food favorites.
When I tell people about these ideas Jeff and I have, they automatically get defensive....as if I am saying their parenting style is WRONG or as if I am saying I am better then them for choosing this style of parenting....I of course am not saying this AT ALL!!!! I always just say..."I think i am going try to do this...." Or "Jeff and I have decided to do this..." I try my BEST to not come off as snobby or condecending......I think a lot of the adversity comes from folks who actually feel a little guilty about what they are doing or how they are raising their children, I can't help that. This is my FIRST baby, I am in NO position to tell ANYONE how to raise their child or things they may want to try.
~sigh~

Anyway, to end this blog on a happy note. Me and the baby are doing well. The sickness has let up and I have started nesting a little....IE: Manic cleaning. hahaha. Jeff is amused.

Cheers,
Kira

11 weeks going into 12 weeks

Well I am 11 weeks and 4 days today. Thursday marks the 12 week milestone. Done with one trimester...wow. I have to admit that I am a little scared. I have not been sick this past week, except Saturday, my reflux/heartburn was OUT OF CONTROL and I was pretty much miserable most of the day. I have to admit, being sick is the only way I know that I am pregnant right now since I cannot feel the baby yet. It is all a little overwhelming.
I am SO glad to be relieved of the CONSTANT vomiting, but SO scared all at the same time....There will be this next couple of weeks of NOT KNOWING what is going on with my baby. Today I weighed myself and had another small freak out....I have lost 4 lbs. :-/
I know they say you should'nt weigh yourself, but I FELT lighter this morning for some reason and wanted to check it out....maybe it is because I have not been as constipated as I was in the beginning...I know TMI, but if you can't handle details, then you probably should not be reading this blog....Anyway, I immediately began thinking about the baby and wondering if he/she was ok in there, I have been getting cramps, which I know is just Round Ligament pain, but you as some of you know, the Pregnant brain immediately thinks the worse...OY!
Tomorrow is my next doctor's appointment and hopefully she will put my crazy mind at ease...until then....

Cheers,
Kira

A Little Something From St. Thomas.....

So last time I blogged I was on my way to St. Thomas.....

Well, we went and had an AMAZING time...it was just out of this world beautiful. I look forward to going back! We had a great time. No Drama, no arguing, no set schedule for ANYTHING, just swimming in the ocean and enjoying life....

So, no one knew Jeff and I have been trying to have a baby.....YEP, the couple who vowed to NEVER have children FOOLED YOU ALL!!!!! If you have been listening closely and following our lives, you would have known though....we have tried to adopt relative's children before...offered to keep people's kids for a long while and even made side comments like, "we won't do that with our kids...." You just had to listen to the clues... I have had some troubles in the past trying to get pregnant and have had a miscarriage and a couple of surgeries on my reproductive parts...we have kept this all private though. We are VERY private people after all. So when Jeff got back from the desert we decided to geuninely start trying to have a baby, I mean really focus on it.....Low and behold.. we brought back a something a little "extra" from St. Thomas. I guess the timing was just right because a few weeks after our trip I found out I was pregnant!!! We are both SO EXCITED.

The truth about pregnancy was a SLAP in the face though. I have never felt so OUT OF CONTROL in my life. Out of control of my body, out of control of my babies life, out of control of my emotions.....it is just an complete outer body experience. Really strange. I have been pretty sick. I am 11 weeks now and it is JUST easing up. The mornings are still pretty rough though.

I have been so sick, that I was in the emergency room one night with an IV in my arm from SEVERE dehydration...so severe I was blacking out......and my doctor put me on TWO strong anti-nausea medications....both of which worked great...when I could keep them down. :-/

Things are SO SO Much better now and this last ultrasound the mystery of my sickness was revealed...I was actually pregnant with TWINS....except one did not make it past 6 weeks. :-( it never even really developed so the ultrasound showed an emtpy sac with a yolk....Jeff and I were DEVASTATED....after all, it has been hard to concieve ONE child, what a blessing it would have been to be able to have two at once. We are not sure if we will be able to have another.....but we sure are happy we have this ONE healthy, striving child....that is for sure.

Here is what he/she looks like at 10 weeks....we are currently calling it Nibbler...because I found out I was pregnant around Thanksgiving and I was only able to eat nibbles of food at a time....

I have gained 5 lbs and it seems to be all breast and belly, I ache constantly in my joints, I can vomit at a drop of a dime, and can cry just as quickly....but I am the happiest I have EVER.....EVER been in my entire life.

I am going to try to blog a little more now that I have stuff to say.....and interesting things going on in my life. This blog will probably become more devoted to my discovering how to be a Mom because let's face it, I have NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL I AM GETTING MYSELF INTO....NO IDEA....I just know that Jeff and I will do our best and will love this baby with every fiber of our beings....

Cheers,

Kira

What's going on....

So it has been a while.....


Jeff is home!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! Happy! We have been doing TONS of home improvement since he got home, it is nice to be back to normal again. We are OFFICIALLY going to St. Thomas. Only 16 more days until we leave. I am just BOUNCING off the wall....
I have a YouTube Channel now...just search me.
Still working at the clinic, but I am looking for other jobs too. We need money for the holidays, we are going to be traveling a BUNCH between now and new years.
Life is good. Riot is 100% better, YAY! I am so glad my boy pulled through.

Not much else to say!

Cheers,
Kira

Two Two Nails and a Mole

Those are the three surgeries I assisted in today. VERY GROSS. Yall know I can't deal with feet very well....who am I kidding...I HATE FEET, but I held it together today. The Doctor was VERY impressed by my professional attitude and my compassion.(I held both ingrown toe nail ladies hand...) I know I would want someone to hold MY hand if my toenail was getting taken completely off...I dont care HOW numb it is....I am getting LESS and LESS squimish..which is good. I have never been a squimish person, but I have seen things at this clinic that make me go..."Ew."

ANYWAY....I have not been sleeping much. My greyhound had a stroke. I went to Greenville this past weekend to go White Water rafting with my brother-in-law and his wife and I kenneled the dogs. My dad WAS gonna stop by and feed them and let them out, but last minute he cancelled so in a pinch I took them to the REALLY nice dog kennel on spears creek rd. I was running out of time and that place was on the way.....so anyway, I wish I would have gotten some friends of mine to watch them, because Sunday when I went to pick him up, the handler brought them both out. Princess was fine and happy, Riot was shaking....he is always freaked out by being away from home, but he was shaking pretty hard, then he peed on the floor in the lobby and started CONVULSING, then he fell over and started foaming at the mouth...if it sounds tramatic....trust me IT WAS....my natural MAMA instinct kicked in and I picked him up. Yes all 80 lbs of him, and ran him next door, where there is an Emergency Vet. THANK GOD FOR THAT! They took him in immediately, his temp was 107!!!! They gave him a light sedative, then his whole body went stiff. I thought he was gone for sure. The vet looked in his eyes and it was apparent he'd had some kind of stroke. So they put him on fluids and ran some blood test. Everything came back normal, so he was not poisoned. He was VERY dehydrated though, which scares me...did they give him water at the Kennel place????I am sure they did, but it still makes me wonder....After a couple of hours, they suggested that they should keep him overnight to monitor him and keep him on fluids....they werent sure if he would make it though the night. I opted to take him home. I can monitor him and give him fluids. And if he was gonna die, I wanted him to be someplace where he is LOVED and is comfortable. He had been stressed out ENOUGH around strangers. So I again picked up my 80 lbs baby, loaded him in the Jeep drove him home, UNLOADED him into the house and put him on his favorite couch.

It was a LOOOOONG night, but long story short, he is recovering nicely. He is still VERY slow walking and holds his head kind of funny, but at least he is walking. YAY. I would have been devastated if he had died...not to mention I don't know what Princess would do without her buddy....she did NOT leave his side the entire first night. It was so sweet. Riot is 9 years old, which is kind of old for a dog, but I want to have him around for a few more years...I do believe he is happy here living with Jeff and I...

Cheers,

Kira

Movin On...

I have decided to not address the last blog here...it has been addressed elsewhere...thanks for the support, all of you.

So this evening after work I IMMEDIATELY strip down, put my uniform in the wash on SUPER HOT, and took a Sterilizing SUPERHOT boil your skin off shower...
(so work gave me the icks...hush.)
After my shower I notice my ankles are the size of my CALFS...yep I had CANKLES ladies and germs....I have terrible circulation in my legs...dont worry, it is genetic, nothing I can do except drink more water and move around a lot...you would think I move around enough, but I am mostly just Standing. It is a small clinic so I don't walk MUCH. and Drinking gallons of water is hard to do when I have 10 patients in the waiting room...

anyway, i did a Homer Simpson scream about my ankles and immediately made myself a soak in my little pedicure tub.PIPING HOT WATER, Epson salt and a bath bomb for good measure...I set it up in the livingroom...Then I made myself some chicken tenders for dinner with mustard (SHUT UP! I eat what I want!), grabbed my big ice pack from the freezer and set myself up in front of the movie "New in Town." (awful movie by the way) with my feet in my little tub, the icepack on my neck and shoulders because they were SCREAMING for a massage, and my chicken tenders in a paper plate...I stopped at one point and laughed at myself until my stomach hurt...I imagine I looked like a little old lady at that point, soaking my feet, eating something RANDOM, while watching the tube...LOL.

My ankles look MUCH better by the way, but my neck and shoulders are on FIRE. I can't even get comfortable enought to sleep right now....Cheers,Kira

SOAP BOX

So right now I am literally SHAKING with anger and something else. I don't know what. I have tears streaming down my face and my heart is POUNDING.



This blog is gonna be kind of random and streaming so bare with me....hell, I don't know if anyone even reads it anyway....Sometimes I feel like NO ONE is even fucking LISTENING!!!!!



So, I am part of many "social networking" sites. I have noticed people CONSTANTLY bashing the USA and bashing where they live and bashing their living situation, yet they are doing NOTHING TO CHANGE IT! I fucking hate it....right now my husband is at the bottom of the fucking world in some DESERT, someplace, WISHING he could be back here in the USA, to our boring little town, to our simple little life. He has travelled the world, seen so many people, seen so many cultures, been to so many different places, and he is ALWAYS glad to come home.



We don't have a glamourous life, we dont have a huge house, lots of money or lots of friends. But we are THANKFUL for what we have. Sometimes Jeff has to remind ME when things get tough in our lives that I have to be thankful. Even now, when he is in that terrible place, he is thankful that it is not worse, thankful that I am home waiting on him, thankful that everything he DOES is HIS CHOICE.

I admire him so much for that.

Working in the community clinic has really really opened my eyes to a lot of things. First of all, no matter HOW bad I think your situation is, there is ALWAYS someone who has it WORSE. I mean there are people in this world without the BASIC necessities of life...there are people living in our TOWNS...hell, they could be RIGHT NEXT DOOR to you, living their own private hell. Another thing I have learned is that if people REALLY wanted out of their situation, NOTHING will stop them. All these fuckers complaining about their town being boring, or our government being corrupt, or just basically how much they hate their life....are not doing ANYTHING to change the situation. When you ask them, why dont you just move? Or why dont you just try to better yourself, they have a bucket of excuses.....There are people who come to the clinic who SOLD THEIR BODIES, Swim MILES in the ocean, risked being caught by border patrol, risked being killed by crooked human smugglers, risked their children's lives and their own lives, worked 4 jobs, lived in CLOSETS to change their situation. There is NO EXCUSE. If you really REALLY want to change your situation. You will do whatever it takes. Point Blank.

Another reason for my current state of mind is I am part of ALLLL these social networks....I have at least a hundred "friends" in each network, yet I feel SO alone. I will post things saying "who wants to go out to dinner with me?" Or "who wants to go xyz place with me" NOTHING, no responds WHAT SO EVER....until after the fact...then I get some flaccid excuse from someone who feels obligated to just say SOMETHING. I know times are tough and I know people have their own lives, I break my NECK to accomedate them. I even offer to FOOT THE BILL half the time, gas, dinner or something. Still nothing. I will call or send text messages, emails.....nothing. If I were to narrow my friends list down on each site, based on the people who give me the time of day, I mean really, people who will at least drop me a line once in a while to see if alive...I would be down to like 8 people combined (not including my family who is FANTASTIC and always makes sure I am ok, even if they are so far away that we cannot do things together). Well I am DONE WITH IT. I am done begging people to be my friend. It is pathetic and degrading. I am making a vow right now to be stronger, BY MYSELF. This is not some desperate plea to get people to talk to me....it is FAR too late for that....and I know I am burning bridges right now...and if that is the case, then give me another fucking match and some lighter fluid.....

I am sorry this blog is so negative and angry, but that is how I feel right now...It really came ALL OF A SUDDEN it just hit me....I am sorry if your feelings are hurt, I am sorry if what I said hit close to home, but I am not sorry for typing these words...not one bit.

~Kira